I didn’t get any cake yesterday cause apparently my dad was still working on it.
He brought it to school today and I’m just-
is all of that
wtf i think your dad just defied the law of physics and pastries
Is ur dad cake boss
My birthday is May 6th. Can I hire your dad to make me a cake? I’m poor as shit so I can’t pay him money, but I have a ton of generic macaroni and cheese, potatoes, pasta (10 different kinds), tomato soup, and various types of tea. I am willing to throw in a couple dozen eggs and some saltines, but that’s as high as I’ll go.
Fun shark attack facts:
- In 1996, toilets injured 43,000 Americans a year. Sharks injured 13.
- In 1996, 2,600 Americans were injured by room fresheners. Sharks injured 13.
- In 1996, buckets and pails injured almost 11,000 Americans. Sharks injured 13.
- For every human killed by a shark, humans kill approximately two million sharks.
- Humans are assholes.
- Sharks are not assholes.
- Apparently everyone in 1996 lived in a real-life infomercial.
I was at the mall today and overheard this dude talking to two lesbian chicks. I hear him ask, “So which one of you is the guy in your relationship?” And the one girl looks into her pants and says, “It’s not me. How bout you? Are you hiding a dick in there?” Then her girlfriend looks in her pants and says, “Nope, I’m not.” Then the first chick looks at the dude and says, “Hmmm, guess that’s why we are lesbians.” And then I lost my shit.