avatardedpotterhead:

bootyguarcl:

lavalamp-of-epicness:

I didn’t get any cake yesterday cause apparently my dad was still working on it.

He brought it to school today and I’m just-

image

how

image

is all of that

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frickin sugar?

image

holy jesus 

wtf i think your dad just defied the law of physics and pastries

Is ur dad cake boss

My birthday is May 6th. Can I hire your dad to make me a cake? I’m poor as shit so I can’t pay him money, but I have a ton of generic macaroni and cheese, potatoes, pasta (10 different kinds), tomato soup, and various types of tea. I am willing to throw in a couple dozen eggs and some saltines, but that’s as high as I’ll go. 

(via gallifreysconsultingphoenix)

nintendontdodrugs:

oh really fucking funny peter, you think youre a comedian now?

nintendontdodrugs:

oh really fucking funny peter, you think youre a comedian now?

(via gottagetbacktohogwartsbrb)

ex0skeletal:

Fun shark attack facts:

  • In 1996, toilets injured 43,000 Americans a year. Sharks injured 13.
  • In 1996, 2,600 Americans were injured by room fresheners. Sharks injured 13.
  • In 1996, buckets and pails injured almost 11,000 Americans. Sharks injured 13.
  • For every human killed by a shark, humans kill approximately two million sharks.

Conclusions:

  1. Humans are assholes.
  2. Sharks are not assholes.
  3. Apparently everyone in 1996 lived in a real-life infomercial.

(via missdeadlyromance)

w0lfwhistle:

godsavethepeen:

what happened when i entered the internet world

I can’t not reblog this, it’s my life in a gif.

w0lfwhistle:

godsavethepeen:

what happened when i entered the internet world

I can’t not reblog this, it’s my life in a gif.

(via rosemoriarty1895)

rebeccacrane:

you know what’s cool

when you’re so used to a certain person’s voice that you can imagine them saying anything even if the person has never said that before

(via dont-even-stevens)

nakedly:

you are not fat
you have fat 
you also have fingernails 
you are not fingernail 

(via missdeadlyromance)

juilan:

tropius:

juilan:

tropius:

wow a sunrise. how gay

The sun came out?

yeah its out now

How brave

(via alohomora-221b)

eridansushi:

IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT KIND OF WRITER YOU ARE YOU CAN BE WRITING: POEMS, FANFICS, IDK NORMAL FICS, NOVELS, SHORT STORIES, IDK ANYTHING!! JUST REBLOG!!!

(via overlordoftheuniverse)

1021girl:

snickerdoodlesandsausages:

enjolrasactual:

in-love-with-my-bed:

the-winchesters-creed:

ayellowstateofmind:

Imagine stabbing someone with this knife. 

It would instantly cauterize the wound, so the person wouldn’t bleed, so it’s not very useful.

if you want information it is

and above, in order, we see a gryffindor, a ravenclaw, and a slytherin

why would you stab a PERSON when you can have TOAST?

There’s the hufflepuff

(via perks-of-being-an-ugly-shit)

amberisntacrayon:

I was at the mall today and overheard this dude talking to two lesbian chicks. I hear him ask, “So which one of you is the guy in your relationship?” And the one girl looks into her pants and says, “It’s not me. How bout you? Are you hiding a dick in there?” Then her girlfriend looks in her pants and says, “Nope, I’m not.” Then the first chick looks at the dude and says, “Hmmm, guess that’s why we are lesbians.” And then I lost my shit.

(via fancaakes)

haus-of-ill-repute:

Cats come in both liquid and solid form.

(via sokkaflockaflameo)

glutenfreewaffles:

if you’ve ever wanted a gif of Marilyn Manson pushing Chris Evans well here u go

glutenfreewaffles:

if you’ve ever wanted a gif of Marilyn Manson pushing Chris Evans well here u go

(via abaddonsbabe)

social-darwin-awards:

From imgur:

IMPORTANT: Train operator didn’t kick the kid in the head. He softened the impact instead!

The train operator risked breaking his leg while putting it in between of the hard metallic edge and kid’s head in order to soften the impact.

Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dy8Yt-P614w

Edit: Thanks for getting this into the frontpage. All I wanted is that those who called the train conductor/engineer a “douchebag” yesterday would see it from different perspective, that’s why I felt it is important to share this thought.

Seemed like an important thing to share, especially because I instinctively judged the train operator as well before I saw it. If he hadn’t done that, you probably would have heard this guy’s story from the news article of his hospitalization… or his obituary.

(via dauntlesslion)

sexy-team-free-will:

Misha being his five year old self

(via judypunskins)